My Big Mouth (Part 3)

So to go back and quote part of that Simon and Garfunkel song, "People talking without speaking" was definitely what I was seeing. It was all too common for people to open their mouths just to have nothing of value actually come out, and I knew I had been just as guilty. What came next for me to learn was the truth behind "People hearing without listening."
When the disciples asked Jesus why he taught in parables he quoted to them some prophetic words...

 

“‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding;
you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.
For this people’s heart has become calloused;
they hardly hear with their ears,
and they have closed their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
hear with their ears, understand with their hearts"
(Matthew 13:14-15)

 

To break that down, he was saying that we are all too stupid to just sit and use the body parts that the good Lord has given us to perceive with, we get distracted by our own selves and so it became necessary for him to use the hook of a good story to get a point across. And I think that the fellows who wrote this song got that, they knew that it has become the norm to sit at a table while somebody else talks and not ever really open our hearts up to truly hear somebody because we are often checked out, thinking about the next thing we have to do or when it will be our turn to talk.

That was the big thing for me right there, and it finally hit me after a one sided conversation in the middle of my vow of silence.

At the time I was volunteering as one of the key leaders for a local youth ministry that was without an on staff person. In my own little world I was thinking that the timing couldn't be more perfect that I could graduate, do my internship, and then come back and have them hire me. to work full time for this ministry. Of course what we think and what is reality are often two completely different things. I'll just say that "reality" was starting to set in, and I didn't want to come to grips with it, so I went to go have a "talk" with an on campus minister who had actually filled the same position some years back. After writing him a short note he started to share with me, occasionally throwing out a "Yes" or "No" question I could nod in response to, and it wasn't long before it started hitting something that was resonating deep in me. In fact it was drawing at something in my heart so hard that I began to cry.

To be honest I can't even remember what advice he had given me but I knew that once I had stopped thinking about the next thing I wanted to say I was so much more free to listen to the one sharing with me. It was like the consistent running of my mouth had not just become a snare to my soul but an impenetrable cage that kept God's knowledge from coming to me. It's no wonder that God came to Elijah as the "still small voice" (1 Kings 19:12) and that it is written "Be still, and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10). There is a great need for us to close our mouths so we can open our ears.

And so two things have been learned so far...
1.) A closed mouth gathers no foot.
2.) It also allows you to be something better, something more open.

All of this can be accomplished by just thinking before I talk. I know it sounds so elementary, but honestly those are often the lessons that come back to haunt us because we never learned them quite right. For you it may be just counting to ten before you respond to something to someone said, or maybe in group settings limiting yourself to only sharing so many times. Either way it will keep you thinking "Are these words worth saying?"

The benefits go on and on (from keeping you from dominating a conversation to not saying something you didn't mean), but you have to be willing to be to monitor yourself in order to keep you from sabotage yourself.